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Sharing on the Holidays

October 12th 2008 16:53

Because we’re a blended family in every way imaginable, we have to share the children on every other holiday. This is difficult because, of course, we want the house filled with the celebratory laughter and conversation from the entire family on the holidays . . . we don’t want to send them in so many different directions:


My boys will go with their father.
My stepdaughter will go with her mother.
My nephew will go with either one of his parents or his grandparents.

My fiancé and I have made plans to go away on Thanksgiving to reconnect and have a mini-holiday vacation at his sister’s camp (if no one else is using it, that is). We need to get away because it’s been a flurry of working schedules, schedules for the kids, sports schedules, side work schedules, and “can you do this for me” favors on the weekends. It’s been SO busy that, when the dust settles here, it’s immediately stirred up by something else that comes along.

So, rather than thinking about how much we’d love to celebrate with our children, we’re going to take a few moments to ourselves and breath, taste some delicious food, relax, and just BE. We’re not going to run here, there, and everywhere . . . because that’s what we do every single week of every single month. We’re not going to conform our holiday around what others believe would be the best way for us to spend our time. We’re taking OUR time BACK and celebrating our way.

Next year, things will feel normal again. I’ll be cooking for all of us, we’ll be sharing time with each other, and we’ll be inviting people to share in these moments with us. We won’t feel like something is missing, nor will we be sending our children in so many different directions. That’s one of the toughest things for me while being part of this blended family. While I welcome the break sometimes, I would really rather everyone be home . . . it just feels right.


Do you have a blended family? If so, how do you handle it when the children are sent off during the holidays?
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Media Limitations: Why or Why Not?

October 11th 2008 15:56

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to media limitations ever since we welcomed our nephew into our household. There is a lot of debate surrounding this subject for obvious reasons. Many adults believe there is no need to limit how often a child uses their computer, the television, an iPod, text features on a cell phone, and so on.

The truth of the matter is simple: there needs to be limitations.

Why? There are a number of studies focused on this subject located here:
· AAP PARENTING CORNER Q & A: TV AND YOUR FAMILY
· SUMMARY OF STRIKING A BALANCE – THE CONTROL OF CHILDREN’S MEDIA ...
· Setting Limits For Your Children - How to Set Limits for TV ...
· Setting limits to video games for teenagers - FamilyEducation.com
· Set Limits on Computer, Video Game, or TV Time | Scholastic.com

As you may have already guessed, I’m in favor of setting limits. There’s nothing more annoying than trying to carry on a conversation with someone who is preoccupied by the media they’re using (particularly text messages that come in while they’re in mid-sentence). We have a leg up when it comes to our younger children because they won’t have to worry about developing and kicking bad habits.

However, we’re going to be facing challenges with this with our nephew because he’s never had such limitations . . . therefore, I has no clear understanding about why they need to be there. Rather than putting him in a position of discomfort or making him feel this is a disciplinary measure, I prefer arming myself with as much information to give him as possible when the inevitable “why” questions pop into our conversation.

Which side of the fence are you on with this matter?
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Children and Journal Writing

October 8th 2008 16:35

I’ve been encouraging my children to express their feelings through art over the years and, now that they’re writing more and more in school, I’m encouraging expression through journal writing. Because we’re a VERY blended family, it’s confusing and frustrating at times for us all and sorting out these feelings in journals is a great outlet.

Though my nephew doesn’t seem interested in this practice right now, I think he’ll change his mind eventually. For him, the journal will act more like a tool. I’m going to be teaching him how to vent his anger, make future goals for his career or educational planning, and enhance his memory. It may or may not work, but it’s worth a try!

I’ve been writing in a journal since I was eleven and it’s been the best way for me to channel feelings I’m not ready to talk about, write out memories, and sort out feelings before having a conversation. I use my journal for many other things, as well, like recording dreams, pondering how life is, and making goals. These techniques for keeping a journal will be incorporated into my children’s learning plan in the future. I don’t want overwhelm them.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve been teaching all of them throughout this experience is that these writings do not need to be or have to be read by anyone. If they want to share their writings with someone, then that’s fine, but it is by no means a requirement. This has helped my oldest explore thoughts and make his journal his own, but he does share it from time to time when he sees the other children talking about what they’re doing in their journals when they’ve created art or something else creative.

Do you enccourage your children to keep a journal?
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Progress Reports: Good With the Bad

October 8th 2008 15:24

It’s that time of year again! Next week, we’ll be receiving four progress reports, one for each child in the household. The schools (the elementary for the younger children, and the high school for our nephew) will be holding parent and teacher conferences for each child to discuss their progress. We’ve always really enjoyed these meetings because our children typically do quite well.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!

October 7th 2008 12:13

The entire dynamic of our household is changing daily. Our children are getting older and wising up to the fact that lying will:
· Help them avoid punishment


[ Click here to read more ]
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Weather-Run Living

October 2nd 2008 12:00

As much as the kids would still love to play, it looks like there will be no soccer game tonight. Practice was cancelled last night, as well. The rain is pouring down in sheets, so it’s not exactly “playable” weather. The fields are soaked, so even if it weren’t raining it would be too wet to play.

[ Click here to read more ]
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October Art With the Kids

October 1st 2008 13:09

It feels like a two pots of coffee kind of day. The rainy, gray weather always seems to do that for me. We woke to the sound of the pouring rain and, despite the fact that it has let up, the clouds remain . . . threatening more showers in minutes or hours.

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As a reality mom, there are many things to take into consideration during the raising of our children. This includes concerns with health, medical issues, and helping our children understand the medical issues of other children.

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Homework: Encourage Good Study Habits

September 29th 2008 22:38

Right now, my nephew is going through some changes. Changes in his routine, changes in his school, changes in his friends, and changes in his expectations with school top the list. It’s an upward battle, but worth every bit of the struggle. Why? It’s important to encourage these positive changes, so we’re not giving up.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Early to Rise?

September 29th 2008 22:16

Lately that phrase, early to rise, has been the exact opposite of my abilities. I’ve been struggling to get out of bed every morning despite sleeping like a rock at night. It’s very strange. Usually, I’m “up and at ‘em” in the morning and raring to go throughout he day.

[ Click here to read more ]
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