Being Pulled Into Two Directions
September 13th 2008 16:43
What do you do when you are being pulled into two directions during conflict? Person A wants you to side with them, and Person B does as well. You have dedication to the both of them, but the both of them are on opposing sides. What do you do?
When it comes to being a parent, this is inevitable. (Unfortunately.) How this situation is handled, though, is the key to keeping the conflict from escalating into something worse.
If you are in a situation with two adults, two teenagers, or two children are at odds with each other and you have been put in the middle for one reason or another, try to stay neutral. It may seem impossible, but it will prevent further conflict. Even if you feel like you agree with Person A more than you do with Person B . . . do you want to add to this conflict?
This may seem like a passive approach to conflict resolution, but it is also the best way to stay objective. You may feel like you are playing “good cop,” and “bad cop.” You may feel like you are refereeing a boxing match (be it with words or fists). You may feel like you are expected to choose sides. This is all part of being a reality mom.
Keep your head, hold on to your beliefs, keep your opinions objective, and remain calm. This will challenge your patience, this will annoy people, and this will make people mad. It will also keep you from becoming part of the problem, it will allow you to stay on the outside looking in, and it will help Person A and Person B resolve their own differences.
You DO NOT have to be in the middle of everything.
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